Like Most Things...

It began innocently enough.

It was early November.

I had a single can of whipped cream.

I made that first can last for at least two weeks.

But what started as a "healthy layer" (2-3 inches..) of whipped cream on every cup of coffee, quickly turned into something much more dark and sinister. Towards the end of November I was going through a can of the stuff each week. By the the time December rolled around I knew I was in deep and simply did what any rational, sagacious, adult in denial would do--I declared it National Whipped Cream Month (um, yes I have that kind of power) in an attempt to justify my addiction actions.

(You many now go ahead and google "sagacious.")

But that's not the worst of it. You see, I began leaving the whipped cream container on the counter, so that as I drank my coffee, I could easily refill my cup at any point (refill with whipped cream--not coffee.) Because by leaving the can on the counter, I was able to eliminate that annoying step of actually having to open the refrigerator door to remove the bottle from its arctic paradise.

Unfortunately, it doesn't end there...I began bringing the can of whipped cream with me to wherever I would sit down. (Now eliminating the need to stand up and walk over to the kitchen counter.)

Complete transparency? ...there is a bottle of whipped cream sitting next to me as I type this.

I'm not going to get too graphic on you... (my little sister reads this blog sometimes and I don't want to give her nightmares.) Just know this: it's not pretty.

Throughout the month of December I began going through two bottles of whipped cream a week. That is one bottle for every 3.5 days. (I know, my sweet math skills just totally took you off guard, didn't they?) Two cans a week didn't even sound too bad until I realized that I only drink coffee at home 4 days a week. Please don't make me do the math for you on that one.

Okay fine, I will.

Two cans of whipped cream
Four days
That is half a bottle of whipped cream a day.

Honestly, I'm not even trying to justify it anymore. Basically, I'm filling my cup with whipped cream and pouring a tablespoon or two of coffee over the top.