(More Like Just Trials)
(More Like Just Trials)
1. When you see your "Most Compatible Matches" for the day and it makes you lose all faith in humanity.
And love. And facial hair ever being attractive. Your pick: Stalker Lover or Serial Killer? Choices choices…
2. The heartfelt answers
Just makes those panties drop.
Then there are the short and…sweet?
I mean…I could get on board with this last one, I suppose?
3. The Classic Profile Cover Photo With a Guy Holding a Large Bass.
You men know who you are and all the ladies know what I am talking about. I think guys forget that they are trying to attract women, not prove their hunting/fishing prowess to other men. Exhibit A: a man standing next to a truck full of dead furry animals. Yes, that is indeed a truck filled with dead. furry. animals. I am genuinely puzzled…do men think that ladies are over here being like, "Oh baby. Let me get me get a piece of that action!"
Dear men, when a lady is looking through your pictures, she subconsciously trying to see if she can see herself in the life you are showing her. So when we see a picture of you standing proudly in some sort of garage with dead animals…our instincts are telling us what they told those poor animals: run.
4. When you keep getting matched with all the cute boys. Maybe?
Who knows.
It's all just so mysterious….
5. When They Tell You What You Already Knew
Yes, sad human being. You will indeed be alone forever.
Aww come on! Adam didn't look so bad. In fact, he may be a bass player from a Christian ska band, or perhaps a Penn (from Penn and Teller) look-a-like.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Adam was a real heart-throb. (And yes, I do feel like a jerk for criticizing someone's appearance.) Also…I definitely had to look up what Penn and Teller was. A little strange I must say. Were they like a "thing" in the 80s or 90s?
DeleteI used to feel bad about judging people on their appearance, however I've realized that feeling bad about it isn't going to stop me from doing it. Especially when it comes to trying to date somebody. You definitely need to be attracted to the person you're with, otherwise that's just another thing to come between two people.
DeleteYes, Penn and Teller were popular in the 90's, I guess. I just wanted to point out that Adam wasn't bad looking, but that he seemed to have a little bit of a retro look going on.
Also, don't be like Kathy Griffin. At the Emmy awards, Kathy Griffin's acceptance speech said, "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus." She went on to say,"Suck it, Jesus. This is my God now!" referring to the Emmy.
If I shouldn't be like Kathy Griffin then who should I be like?
DeleteYou should be like yourself, or like Jesus... of course.
DeleteOH my goodness. I'm laughing so hard. I love all of this, as usual. At least your sense of humor grows the longer you are single....at this rate you may be a blond Kathey Griffin by age 30. TOTALLY KIDDING. I know this season is hard. I love you, and I promise it will be worth it. I promise. In the mean time, i'm enjoying your single blog posts. : )
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure that if I ever became anything like Kathey Griffin, mom and dad would disown me. Like, they might disown me already if they knew I cussed on here… ;)
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