I'll wake up one day and realize how I am killing my body with the majority of the food I eat. (Now take a deep breath before you begin reading the next sentence.) So then I eat an organic carrot and all the sudden I become this snooty know-it-all health freak who can not believe that the rest of the human population hasn't also had a similar epiphany about what they're eating and don't see the error of their ways (and furthermore, why are they not also buying and consuming organic carrots?!) I will literally walk around all day, shaking my head (internally--most of the time at least) in disappointment at the poor food choices of the average American. Why don't people pick the organically grown carrot instead of the Doritos?
Oh yeah, because carrots taste like carrots and Doritos taste like the flavors delicious and amazing. And they come packaged in dynamic duos (or, "collisions" as they call it) just to accommodate (enable...) the indecisive who can't decide if they want the classic nacho cheese flavor (always a safe bet) or that new slightly weird flavor (that will be awesome for roughly 7 1/2 chips but inevitably make you feel sick around chip number 10).
Anywho, this post has gone way off topic. I like to go off topic when Jesus starts telling me that I am prideful or gives me a reality check about the state of my heart--which is not so pure/awesome/humble/Dorito-free as I like to believe it is. Hi, I am Lauren and I am prideful. Seriously, how pathetic am I that I become prideful after eating a freaking carrot?
Just a disclaimer: pretty much everything I write is slightly exaggerated. But there is truth beneath it. Unfortunately.
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